A HOLIDAY THROWBACK TO CHRISTMAS 2009

Hope you enjoy our recent and true Christmas tale!  It was too good of a story not to share.  Link to photos at end of story.

You’ve all heard the story of Mr. Willoby’s Christmas Tree… well, here is the story of “Mr. Wronsky’s Christmas Tree”:

We decided to go back to our beloved Virginia tradition of cutting down our own tree – something we were unable to do the past 6 years in NJ.  Last Saturday, Chris, Eric, Kyle and I went to a tree farm in nearby Endicott, NY, which unfortunately had pretty slim pickings as far as the big trees go, and anyone who knows Chris knows the bigger the tree the better.  So he used to think.

We conveyed to the young man driving the tractor (he kind of resembled an extra from "Deliverance") that we wanted to be taken to the biggest trees, and after a bumpy ride through God’s country (we could’ve been in Wyoming for all we knew), and getting the kid’s cell phone number so we wouldn’t be forgotten, we traipsed through the cold, snowy field in search of the perfect tree.  After some disappointment in the selection, we were starting to get discouraged, when I (of all people) called, “Hey! What about this one?”  In front of me stood The Tree.  I tell you my friends she was 20 feet if she was an inch.  (Quint: "25... 3 tons of 'er.") Little did I dream the adventure that was about to ensue.

The men were at first skeptical.  “This one??  It’s huge!”  But it was too late.  As I began to realize my mistake and search out a more reasonable alternative, Chris & Eric were formulating their plan.  45 minutes of shared sawing later, “Timber!” was the word and the tree was down.  (We lost – thank God – about 5 feet of the tree’s base in the cutting process.)  It took my 3 guys, the man driving the tractor, and 2 other tree customers (lesser men for sure as their trees were merely in the 7 to 8 foot range) just to get the tree up onto the trailer.  One man on the tractor thought it was for a church.  Others just sat silently in awe.  Somehow, the tree was able to be bailed and shoved trunk first into the back of the van.  And after forking over a meager $40 (Chris of course bargained on the $50 price for the larger tree), She was ours.

Cold, tired, and hungry, we began the journey back home, with the open trunk tied down and 5 feet of tree sticking out the back.  As we were discussing the plan for getting the tree into the house, Chris calmly observed, “Holy shit!  There’s a mouse on the end of the tree!”  Looking out the window and knowing my husband, I figured he was making a bad joke.  So imagine my surprise when I turned toward the tree trunk to see Mr. Mouse sitting there happy as a chipmunk SIX INCHES FROM MY FACE.  It wasn’t my screech that sent him running back into the center of the bailed tree, as I actually had a moment of clarity after I composed myself and wondered if I couldn’t grab the critter’s tail and fling him out the window.   However, before I could act (and surely I would have), run back out of sight he did, and all bets were off.

Upon arrival at home, the challenge of getting the monstrous tree into the house became secondary as we pondered what to do about the rodent.  We had to leave the tree bailed in order to get it through the front door, but would need to get the creature out first somehow.  For about the next hour, we took turns standing watch so we’d know whether or not the mouse would exit on its own.  We tried to bait it with peanut butter & cheese, to no avail.  Chris hoped to spray the mouse off of the end of the tree with the hose if it made an appearance, then finally resorted to spraying the entire tree to force him out, but we were just left with no mouse and a saturated tree.

Finally, a trip to Lowe’s for mousetraps was made, and the guys left a trap on the porch next to the trunk of the tree.  It was the last best option.  And it worked!  A few hours later, Eric went out in the dark with a flashlight to find the mouse in the trap, but still very much alive!  It was truly a Christmas miracle as Eric was able to free the mouse from the trap and witness it skip merrily into the woods (well, it scurried away anyway) to freedom and happier times.  We were back in business.  We left the tree in the garage overnight to dry out (with extra traps set just for insurance) and rested well that night so we’d be fully prepared the next day for part 2:  The Tree Raising.

In the spirit of not making a long story even longer, suffice it to say that it took about 45 minutes and 6 people (thankfully Maria & Linda were also here for a previously planned visit to pick up the washer & dryer) to erect the 15 ½ foot tree in the great room.  Chris rigged up a tree stand in a large tote bucket and inserted big rocks to keep the tree upright.  He also had to wire it to the wall.  We used the 15’ handle of a tree limb saw and an 8’ladder to get the lights & decorations on, which took a couple of hours.  The angel was the biggest challenge, but Chris made the crowning achievement, and even got her to stand up straight!  Despite a lot of holding my breath (and sometimes swearing under it), it was quite enjoyable to watch Chris, Eric, & Kyle strategize and plan how to get the job done.  The only thing that could have perhaps improved the process would have been the presence of Michael who surely would’ve found a way to add amusement.

So there you have the story of “Mr. Wronsky’s Christmas Tree”.  Stay tuned for the sequel, “How to Get a 15 Foot Tree Out of Your House While Staying United as a Family” due out in early 2010.

Hope you enjoy the accompanying photos/captions.

https://goo.gl/photos/uBYStonbpYArM4569

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, some needed rest!  :-)

Love, Sue